Aaron · Dance & stage
The body speaks before words emerge.
Through dance I experienced what it means to be fully present with others - in movement and stillness, without having to be or achieve anything.
My way into dance
Being together without having to do anything.
Nach Jahren, in denen ich mich innerlich oft wie eingefroren fühlte, fand ich im Dance einen Zugang zurück zum Spüren. Nicht ein für alle Mal: Wenn ich länger nicht im Unterricht war, geriet ich immer wieder in diese Erstarrung. Aber während ich tanzte, war etwas anderes möglich.
Ich erinnere mich an eine meiner ersten Dancestunden. Wir hatten uns gemeinsam bewegt, dann standen plötzlich alle still. Wir hörten unser Schnaufen und die Musik. Niemand musste etwas vorführen. Wir waren einfach zusammen da, im selben gegenwärtigen Moment. Zum ersten Mal seit meiner Jugend spürte ich, wie sich Emotionen wieder bewegen konnten. Das hat mich tief berührt.
What moved me was not only that I could feel myself again. We were all aware of our bodies: our breath, the afterglow of movement, the music. In that awareness, I could be present with others without having to say, show or achieve anything. I was not alone, yet I did not have to adapt myself either. I had not experienced togetherness like that for a long time.
What movement made possible
Enough to do to be fully here.
Der Dance gab mir so viel zu tun, dass für kreisende Gedanken kaum Platz blieb: rechts und links unterscheiden, eine Abfolge erinnern, den Rhythmus hören, das Gleichgewicht halten, den Raum wahrnehmen und zugleich mit der Gruppe in Verbindung bleiben. All das forderte meine Aufmerksamkeit - und brachte mich ins Hier und Jetzt.
I loved that freedom. Yet it often lasted only as long as I was dancing. Even a single day off could feel dreadful; the frozen feeling and inner sense of alarm returned. Dance gave me something precious, but it could not, on its own, resolve what lay beneath. Later I described this feeling to myself as being stuck in sympathetic activation - as if I were constantly on alert while also feeling frozen.
Much later I also found a bodily perspective on this experience. Ruth Lanius and Breanne Kearney describe how the vestibular system informs us about balance and movement in space, and how these senses may relate to body awareness and the regulation of arousal. That helps me understand why turns, shifts of weight and finding my place in the group reached me so directly. But it does not explain everything - least of all the closeness to others in that quiet dance class. Nor does it prove that dance treats trauma. Read the article by Kearney and Lanius ↗
Rückblickend war Dance eine unbewusste Art, mich zu unterstützen. My training in Somatic Experiencing (SE) gab mir später weitere Wege, die Erstarrung und das innere Alarmiertsein zu verstehen. Aber die Erinnerung an den Dance ist für mich nicht bloß eine Vorstufe von etwas anderem. Sie steht für sich: für die Freude an Movement und für Augenblicke, in denen ich mit anderen wirklich da sein konnte.
On stage
Movement arises in relationship.
Art and boundaries
Between freedom and expectation.
Professional dance also brought a tension. Where performance, precision and the next step matter, there is often an expectation to push beyond your limits. For me, that did not always fit with what had helped me about dancing in the first place.
I love the intensity and the artistic work of an ensemble. At the same time, I have learned to ask: does a movement challenge me in a way that feels alive, or am I losing touch with myself? In my bodywork, I therefore ask not only what is possible, but also whether an experience remains appropriate and sustainable.
Contact
Would you like to know more about my journey?
Feel free to write if you have questions about my work, workshops or a possible collaboration.
Ask about a session